cup 88: Battle Royale

royale
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: Orono, livingroom
When: 8am, Feb 24, 2005
Who: Dot & Dash
Coffee: Avalon Organic Italian Roast
Mood: tense

The book is Battle Royale by Koushun Takami, and on this, a day of "vacation" I am lounging around drinking coffee. The book is gripping, to say the least. The premise is simple. 42 middle-schoolers are put on an island and forced to kill each other until only one remains. Reading it is like, well, have you ever seen the old style fans with the metal blades and the screens that have such wide open gaps that you can fit your whole hand through it? And there's something about it that makes you want to stick your hand in, just to see if it really would hurt, or would really cut your fingers off. You know it would, but it is just hard to believe. The fan at full speed is just a blur, a solid disk, not blades at all... Open the book is like sticking your hand in a fan and believing it isn't going to hurt. You know that everyone you care about is going to die, but you have to keep reading. The first few are like potato chips. None of the characters who die have been around long enough to really care about, and the descriptions of their violent deaths are graphic and entertaining. I found myself saying, "Okay, I'll just read until the next kid dies, and then I'll get busy." But then after the first 20 or so kids die, I'm at a point where it is painful to continue, where there are only 2 kids left who I actually want to see dead, and the rest I want to see miraculously escape and live happily ever after. That's not going to happen, though.

It certainly isn't a book I'd recommend to just anybody, but if you like your entertainment disturbing and thought provoking, a la A Clockwork Orange and Lord of the Flies, this book fits the bill. Though neither of those can hold a candle to the grand guignol of Battle Royale.

Cup 87: vacation

wed
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

where: Orono, Lengyl Lab
when: 10:30 am, Feb 23, 2005
who: a student
coffee: Green Mountain
mood: relieved

Cup 86: free Mojtaba and Arash

free Mojtaba and Arash
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

where: my office, Orono, Maine
when: Feb 22, 10 am, 2005
who: just me
coffee: Avalon Organic Italian Roast
mood: pensive

The newly-formed Comittee to Protect Bloggers is having their first "action" today, Free Arash and Motjaba day. While I'm happily, freely drinking my coffee, Arash and Motjaba, two Iranian bloggers are imprisoned for expressing their views on their blogs. Please take a moment to visit the committee's site, and if you have a blog, put up a link and a banner.

Cup 85: afterwards

mon
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

where: Orono, Mom's kitchen
when: 10:30 am, Feb 21, 2005
who: me
coffee: Green Mountain Coffee
mood: tired

cup 84: stained

stained
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: Orono
When: 6am, Feb 21, 2005
Who: me
Coffee: Avalon Organic Italian Roast
Mood: groggy

Cup 83: Family Visit Continues

sun
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: Orono, Mom's kitchen
When: 8am, Feb 20, 2005
Who: Ethel LeClair, Caritha Curti, (and sometimes Sofia and Matthew Curti
Coffee: Mountain Grown Folgers

Cup 82: Family Visit

sat
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: Orono, Mom's kitchen
When: 8am, Feb 19, 2005
Who: Ethel LeClair, Caritha Curti, (and sometimes Sofia and Matthew Curti
Coffee: Mountain Grown Folgers

Cup 81: Coffee Orifice

fri
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: Pembroke Elementary
When: 8:30 am Feb 18, 2005
Who: scads of kids
Coffee: New England Coffee Roasters Breakfast Blend
Mood: uninspired

Look at the lid on this cup. It is the usual not-quite-horrible coffee I get in Pembroke. The coffee isn't great, but the lid is a masterpiece of modern engineering! Years ago Apple computer came out with a series of laptops that were so well designed that they put all other laptops to shame. The design was so complex, however, that Apple needed to use a Cray supercomputer to model the case. This lid is way more complex than the PowerBook case, though! It is kinda cool to be living at a point in history where such a marvel of technology can be as common as a cup of coffee. Now that personal computers are now more powerful than early 90's supercomputers, how many more marvels will we see?

The lid has a plug, for starters. It is on a tab that extrudes from the center of the cup. You don't have to rip any plastic off the lid in order to drink the coffee. You just fold it back and push it against the back of the lid where there is a slot that pinches the tab and holds it reliably. But you can reclose it! That is so cool! How many coffee lids do you ever see on disposable cups that you can completely reclose? That part is cool, but what really excites me is the curves. This lid is all about the curves. I never realized just how uncomfortable the sharp edges make a coffee cup until I drank coffee from a cup that was all curves. This cup is designed in such a way that the mouth comes in contact with nothing but curves. It is unsettling at first. It gives it a much more organic feel than a plastic lid has a right to have, as if this were some bioengineered organ grown to excrete coffee. But there's also something very sensual about it at the same time, like a nipple designed for adults to drink from instead of babies. What other wonders does modern technology have in store for us? I can't wait to find out!

Cup 80: The Caffiene Makes me Irritable

thurs
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: Pembroke Elementary
When: 10 am Feb 17, 2005
Who: many middleschoolers
Coffee: Green Mountain (tepid, purchased back in Orono
Mood: irate

Coffee began its seduction long before I started drinking. I remember a commercial. One woman snaps at her friend and then apologizes, claiming that her doctor says it's too much caffiene. Her friend recommends she switch to decaf. I was an extremely passive kid who never spoke his mind when he was upset, and just endured quietly, so this made coffee seem like some wonderful elixer that enabled one to speak one's mind.

Must be too much caffiene. By the time I made it to Pembroke I was ready to bite somebody's head off. Unfortunately, the target of my irritation was just too big. My jaws don't open that wide.

It's a long drive to Pembroke and I had a long time to think about what I'd read that morning. Iraqi ex-pats living in Australia are putting pressure on the US Govt. to put a stop to the web site Under Mars. Under Mars is a website that lets soldiers in Iraq post pictures that they've taken. Some of them are extremely graphic images of war atrocities that should be offensive to every thinking & feeling human who sees them. Many of these have stupid captions ut there by the soldiers who post them, like, "In need of plastic surgery" beneath a horribly mutilated corpse.

I read the comments on Iraqi blogs about the photos. It all made me angry, made me want to scream "A plague on both your houses!" A typical Iraqi response was that Allah would punish all the Americans, and the same thing would happen to them. Another response was to characterize all Americans based on the idiot soldier who posted the pictures making fun of mutilated Iraqi corpses. A typical American response was, well, bad things happen in war, but isn't it a small price to pay for freedom and democracy? They all make me so angry. How many Americans would you have to kill to bring those dead Iraqis back to life? How many of the 4000 people who died on 9-11 have been brought back to life by sacrificing 100,000 Iraqis? Why is the response to an atrocity always to perpetrate another atrocity?

And I started thinking about the Australian Iraqi's and their condemnation of Under Mars. They just don't understand how important a site like Under Mars is to them. Here in America we've been fed a cleaned and polished version of the war. There are no Iraqi death counts on American television, no images of death or dismemberment or other horrors of war. It makes it so easy to ignore that way, and easier to support. Under Mars is one of the few places where people in the US can actually see what is going on. And if they see it, maybe they will react in horror and be appalled at what their country has done, and do something to try to change it.

But then I realized how foolish it was of my to think this.

Times have changed. Caring is a luxury in this country. The current generation works 140 hours a year more than the previous one and makes less money doing it. That's almost a whole working month less to spend on anything but working. I think a typical American would be outraged if they saw the pictures on Under Mars (I hope so, anyway) but I also think a typical American is overworked and underpaid and even if they realize that the nightly news is just propaganda, they probably don't have the time or the resources to get on the Internet and find out what is really going on. Even if they did, what are they going to do with that information? Protesting is a luxury item also. It takes time and money, two things most Americans have in short supply. Some have called Iraq another Viet Nam. I don't think this is accurate. Back then the news media did a better job informing the public, and the public had more time and energy with which to act on that information. Now we have a government-censored news media, and people with far less time who are on average poorer than the previous generation.

It is all too big. I can't see any way to turn the situation around. I just want to scream. Or maybe its just the caffiene makes me irritable.

Cup 79: Dazed and Confused

thursday
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: my office, Orono
When: 6:45 am, Feb 17
Who: just me
Coffee: Port City Capone
Mood: groggy

6:45. I should have been on the road at 6 am, but I just can't seem to wake up. Feeling so groggy I'm afraid to drive. I have no idea why. This body just isn't cooperating. I pour more coffee into it but the haze won't leave.

Cup 78: No Food or Drink in the Lab

Where: Lengyl Lab, University of Maine, Orono
When: 8 am Feb 16, 2005
Who: a dozen students
Coffee: Green Mountain
Mood: energetic

There's no food or drink allowed in the lab. I hate this rule. I mean, it isn't like it'll hurt anything, well, unless you do something really stupid with your drink, and...

Cup 77: Out the Door

hat
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: home, Orono, ME
When; Feb 16, 7:30 am
Who: Jessie, Dot & Dash
Coffee: Port City Capone
Mood: busy

It is the usual rush around & get everything together for class because I've overslept and instead of enjoying my morning cup of coffee it is something I'm going to carry from room to room and spill it on everything. Only this morning there's a twist. Jessie is awake. Her car is broken again. It is a Toyota and it is just a baby. Hasn't even passed 300,000 miles yet, but Jessie's car just keeps breaking. I've never seen a Toyota have so many problems. So Jessie's annoyed and frustrated and of course I'm annoyed and frustrated because of it, and she has to get up much earlier than she wants to in order to drive me to class so she can have the car for the rest of the day. I don't particularly mind because it gives me a reason to walk! But I'm bummed for Jessie. Like any poor college student needs another $300 car repair bill!

cup 77: sick again

Where: on the couch, Orono ME
When: 9 am Feb 15 2005
Who: me & occasionally Dot & Dash
Coffee: Maine Roaster's Capone
Mood: sick

Coffee was a remote hope that the headache was just the usual caffeine withdrawals but it wasn't. Spent the whole day on the couch watching TV and wishing I didn't feel like crap.

interlude: Balzac

Coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place. Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind. The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge,the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters.Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder.

-Hororé de Balzac

cup 76: VR

Where: Lengyl Lab, University of Maine, Orono
When: 8 am feb 14 2005
Who: dozens of students
Coffee: Green Mountain's Valentine's blend
mood: exploratory

Anyone remember VR? It was going to be so cool! We'd have goggles and body suits and we'd be able to interact in a completely immersive computer environment. Some experts said that the government might have to regulate it like they do psychadelic drugs because it exposed you to an alternate reality. There was a horrible movie, Lawnmower Man, that was a huge success because it happened to have VR in it right when VR was getting popular. There were a couple of TV shows, VR5 and Harsh Realm, that flopped even though the weren't all that bad, because they came out a week later, when VR wasn't news anymore. There is one vestige of the VR hype that remains and is pretty cool and completely underused. It is called Quicktime VR and it is built right into Quictime, so if you can play Quicktime movies on your computer you can watch a Quicktime VR. Quicktime VR stitches together a series of digital photos to create the illusion of navigating in a 3-dimensional space. In the above sample, I used my coffee cup (and yes, I was drinking the coffee while I made the VR). It isn't just an animation. Go ahead, click and drag on it. Try using your shift, control and alt/option keys while you click and drag. They should all do something a little different. In class I plan on using it to archive the student's 3d work, since this can be tricky to include in a portfolio.

Cup 75: From Chocloate to Morphine

from chocloate to morphine
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: livingroom, Orono, Maine
When: 6 am, Feb 14 2005
Who: just me
Coffee: Maine Roaster's Capone
Mood: inquisitive

I took the morning to read up on my addiction in the book From Chocolate to Morphine by Andrew Weil and Winifred Rosen. Here I learned some fun facts. French author Honoré de Balzac was such a coffee addict that the coffee he drank resembled thick soup and he consumed it in astonishing quantities to spite the stomach cramps it gave him. I learned that J. S. Bach composed the Coffee Cantata around 1732 and it containd great lines like, "Far beyond all other pleasures, rarer than jewels or treasure, sweeter than grape from the vine. Yes! Yes! Greatest of pleasures! Coffee, coffee, how I love its flavor, and if you would win my favor, yes! Yes! let mehave coffee, let me have my coffee strong."

Caffeine isn't the only "active ingredient" in coffee. There are many other stimulant drugs found in coffee. This is probably why only coffee "does it for me" and I can't drink caffeinated soda and get the same effect.

I also learned that nausea and vomiting can accompany a coffee withdrawal in addition to a severe, throbbing vascular headache. Coffee is irritating to the stomach and bladder and it overrides the body's ability to store chemical energy, making one come to rely on coffee for energy.

Aside from the irritation, there are many more damaging things to be addicted to. It isn't going to cause the massive and permanent damage that being addicted to, say, heroin causes.

Dr. Weil might say I'm on my way to a "bad relationship" with coffee. "People with good relationships with drugs can take them or leave them," he says, and I don't feel that leaving coffee is an option. On the other hand, I am aware that coffee is a drug, and have a good idea of what it is doing to my body, so that is a sign of a healthy drug relationship. And it doesn't appear to be harming my body as far as I can tell (another good sign) but the effects of coffee have diminished for me, and I need it in order to have a functional energy level, but it does not stimulate me into a higher energy level as it should. A bad sign.

So, what do I do with this information? Well, I'm not about to give up coffee or even cut down. I am okay with being addicted to it. Maybe that is a sure sign of an "unhealthy drug relationship." Whatever.

Cup 74: A Valiant Attempt

sunday
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: living room, Orono, ME
When: Sunday, Feb 12, 2005
Who: Dot & Dash
Coffee: Port City Capone
Mood: in pain

I made a valiant attempt to have a lovely Sunday morning. The coffee, the cats, the anime, and nothing to do but relax and savor a moment's quiet. Unfortunately, I woke up thinking every inch of me hurt. I was to be proven wrong, but at the time I didn't know yet. All I knew was that I'd spent hours shoveling the day before. If you've never shoveled snow before you don't realize how much work it is. The snow looks light and fluffy, but it isn't. It is heavy. With so much snow there's no place for it. I had to pile it on top of the snowbanks, which are now taller than I am. So picture doing reps with a 20 to 30 pound weight, lifting it from the floor to above your head. Keep doing this for four hours and more, and you might have some idea of what it felt like waking up this morning. So it sucked to be me just waking up this morning. And then I fell down the stairs.

Dash ran to the stairs when I got up, and looked at me expectantly. This is one of her play positions. I'll throw things up the stairs to her, and she'll bat them back down. How could I refuse her? Unfortunately, I forgot how slippery my feet are when I wake up in the morning. I don't know why. They just are, okay? I can slide across the hardwood floor in my bare feet just as if they were stocking feet, and rugs are slippery as well. And when I stepped on the stairs my feet just kept going and there was nothing I could do to save myself. Dash bolted. Jessie came running, confused and frightened by the loud crash that woke her out of a sound sleep. "It's okay," I said, "I just fell down stairs. Go back to sleep." as if it is something I do regularly.

I'm not going to tempt fate by saying everything hurts. I thought that once before and now I hurt in twice as many places. My neck is all messed up and just holding it up my head is an effort. I made my coffee and settled down on the couch, and the cats came and lay down on top of me and I made a good show of relaxing, enjoying the coffee and watching TV, but really, it hurt just to pick up the cup and turn my head to take a sip.

And now it is snowing again...

Cup 73: Digging Out

snowbound
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: home, Orono, ME
When: 8:30 AM Feb 12, 2005
Who: me & the snow
Coffee: Port City Capone
Mood: resigned

Luckily I'd spent hours shoveling on Friday. So much snow. It would only take half a day to dig his out. I fueled up on extra strong Port City Capone and a bowl of Vector. Vector is the official cereal of the Canadian Olympic Beach Volleyball Team. I have to go across the border to get it. I figure the Canadian beach volleyball team must be totally hardcore, playing volleyball in their snowsuits and winter boots and all, so their official cereal must be hardcore as well. I wanted to be able to do all the shoveling in one stretch, so

Have you ever seen a couple of feet of snow come down all in one storm? It is pretty mindblowing. A mixture of awe and aw, as in aw crap, now I have to clean this all up.

Cup 72: Snowbound

snowbound
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: Home, Orono
When: 8 am, Feb 11
Who: Dot & Dash
Coffee: Port City India Malabar
Mood: awestruck

It never stopped snowing. It just keeps falling and falling. I was up shoveling it before I had my first cup of coffee. I wanted something to look forward to. Not that there is really any point to shoveling when it is snowing this hard still. I brought the snowblower out for this one. I like to shovel by hand usually, but with this much snow... Still, even with the snowblower it is still a task. The snow is deeper than the snowblower is tall, so I can only do a little at a time, back up, do a little more. I clear enough snow away so that if we need to escape, we can. The snow was not only blocking the cars, it was holding the doors to the house shut.

I'm sore and tired from shoveling, but still, when I pause and ignore the pain in the neck that this is going to be to clean up, I am awestruck. The whole state has been cancelled. All the schools are closed, even the University, which never closes for anything. Every even that was scheduled has been postponed. They didn't even pickup the trash today. So there's no traffic, not even the distant sound of it. The snow plows, usually so good about keeping Orono's streets clean, haven't been able to keep up with this onslaught. It is like the world is being erased. The snow clings to everything, burying the cars and streets, turning the trees and houses white, and everything is quieter and quieter and the snow keeps on falling and falling and as it does the world becomes less detailed. Soon it will be a blank page, ready to start again.

Cup 71: Just in Time

home just in time
Originally uploaded by matt_leclair.

Where: pembroke, en route to Orono
When: 7am, Feb 11, 2005
Who: just me
Coffee: New England Coffee Roasters

The town of Pembroke was dead when I woke up. I left the Rainbow at 7 and the snow was already falling. There'd been a lot of buzz about the coming storm the night before. The forecast said 100% chance of snow for thursday and friday. You just don't see that around here. There's never 100% chance of any sort of weather happening around here. It wasn't really supposed to start until the afternoon, though, so I guess they still got it wrong. I'd planned on grabbing breakfast at Poor Boys, then heading over to the school and working for a few hours before leaving. Even then I didn't know for sure that I'd leave because even when a huge storm is forecast here until it actually starts you really don't know it is going to. But when I left the Rainbow the snow was coming down and no cars were going by, and I went straight to the school instead of going to Poor Boys. The school was dark and locked up tight. They'd cancelled already. These are people who pride themselves on their insanity, er, toughness and ability to cope with whatever comes and their willingness to send their children to school no matter how apocalyptic the weather is.

So now I'm starting to get a little nervous. Still, no cars have gone by. Has something big and terrible happened? What should I do? Go back to the Rainbow and wait out the storm? Attempt to drive back? Two and a half hours on the road. Storms here always come from the southwest, the direction I'd be heading into, so I'd be travelling into worse weather, and I'd be driving through mountains, too. Fortunately, I knew the closer I got to Bangor, the better job they'd do at keeping the roads clean.

I steeled myself. Mom and Jessie and the Kitties would be snowbound unless I were home to dig them out. Plus the boredom of being stranded in a hotel room for two days would be intolerable. So I drove to the Mobil station to get the largest cup of coffee they had and a pair of Little Debbie granola bars for breakfast. It was a no substitute for Poor Boys, but time was of the essence. It was a stressful, white-knuckle kind of drive. The kind where you keep sipping at the coffee cup even though you know its been empty for fifteen minutes, just out of nervous reflex. I was so glad to pull in the yard!